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July 21, 2004

The Definition Of Pleasure

Have you ever had an itch on the top of your foot that you couldn’t scratch? You know the one; it starts out as a very minor annoyance. You wiggle your toes around a bit but that doesn’t quite do it. Then you remember something that someone told you when you were a kid “If you don’t scratch it, the itch will go away”.

Uh-uh, that was a bald-faced lie. So you take your itch eradication efforts to the next level by grinding the heel of the other foot into the top of your shoe, which by the way, requires you to take your foot off the gas pedal (did I mention that you are driving?). Not only does this not work but now you have angered the itch and it wants a proper scratching NOW DAMNIT! You curl and uncurl your toes madly but that only bunches up your sock, giving you a new misery (a little side note: curling and uncurling your toes some more will NOT smooth your sock back out).

While you do this, your car lurches wildly and you decide to try one more thing, as you are sure that you will go mad any moment now. You reach down and jam your index finger under the tongue of your shoe only to find that your finger is too short. You pull over before you end up killing someone, or worse, getting a ticket. Before the car comes to a complete stop, you have yanked off your shoe and are ripping off your sock (Rip it, I said RIP IT, no one cares if it is inside out!). By the way, do not think for one instant that you can get away with scratching through the sock.

Using your sharpest fingernails, you dig at the offending spot, promising yourself you will stop before it bleeds. Your eyes roll back and you make these little grunts while your other leg pedals furiously like a pot bellied puppy getting a tummy rub.

That my friends, is the definition of pleasure.

Posted by DebC at July 21, 2004 3:14 PM

Comments

Posted by: Kim at July 21, 2004 3:33 PM

Posted by: belva at August 19, 2004 10:02 PM