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December 06, 2003
The Italian Driving Experience (Part Three)
Right of way on the road depends on how many legs you have. Sheep are big business in Sicily both for the wool and the meat. Between my housing area and the first part of the Navy base, there are four separate flocks of sheep and one herd of cows that I routinely get stuck behind. They travel the road first thing in the morning and sometime in the late afternoon. The novelty of being surrounded by a sea of animals has yet to get old. The experience is surreal. Of course, how cool it is directly proportionate to how big a hurry you are in. There is generally one shepard and he looks like he stepped out of a story book, complete with a staff and two or three trusty dogs (mainly mutts). I have always heard how stupid sheep are and sitting back and watching the flock movement, I think I know why. The staff is not used to gently nudge and encourage sheep back into the fold. It is used to sharply rap the poor creatures on the noggin.
I always hold my breath as the flock passes around me because the rams have very big horns. They lean against the car as they push and shove each other onward. There are many cars around here that look like they have been keyed because of this. As bad as that sounds, the cows are much worse. They actually rock your car as they go past! Their horns are even bigger.
Back at the end of the summer, I encountered a flock moving along a very narrow road. I knew I was stuck and was pulling my hair out because I was running late to work. I decided that I was going to try to go around. As I pulled into the oncoming lane, the sheep scattered and spread across the road in front of me. DAMN! I pushed, ever so slowly, forward nudging them out of my way like a bulldozer. It didn't work. I decided that I was making the problem worse, so I pulled back into my lane, in hopes that the sheep would pick a side of the road to get on. The shepard was pretty far behind us, trying to shoo the lambs that had fallen behind. My plan was not exactly a success. There was an Italian guy behind me in this big SUV that was so close to my bumper, I couldn't see his license plate. He was doing that back and forth movement that usually proceeds the boomerang passing manuever. The sheep had sort of settled mostly back on my side of the road (of course) and he finally made his break for it. I decided to follow behind him and also pulled into the oncoming lane. The sheep instantly spread across both sides of the road again. The shepard was now right behind my van and hopping mad. He was waving his arms around and cursing in Italian. He rapped his staff on my roof and like a good little sheep, I pulled back into my lane. He did the same to the SUV and finally to the sheep in front of us.
I have had a similar experience in driving downtown in the big city (Catania). Except the flock are bicycles and motorscooters. They do not at all obey any sort of traffic rules and will often travel between two lanes of cars. They come so close that they will actually hold onto your car as you come to a stop or pull away from a stop. It makes downtown driving an experience I actively avoid. There is a helmet law in Italy but you will not see helmets on their heads. The helmets are stored on the back of the bike (maybe the law says you have to HAVE a helmet but doesn't specify what you should do with it?). Along with kamikaze bikers, cars come to complete stops in the middle of the road to unload passengers or even to park. In the rural areas, you can be flying down the road at fifty or so miles per hour, only to have the car in front of you come to a complete stop. The driver and passenger will hop out with shopping bags and proceed to pick something on the side of the road. I have yet to figure out what it is they are picking. One of these days I will get brave and ask them what the heck they are finding.
The other interesting thing you will see cars do here is stop off at what we lovingly call an "umbrella stand". These are equiped with "umbrella girls", so called because they sit on the side of the road holding umbrellas to keep the sun off. If you haven't guessed it, they are drive though prostitute stands. Convenient huh? I call them a traffic hazard because I always have to crane my neck to see who the hell would patronize these women. They often set up shop in the abandoned ruins along the side of the road. There is a famous one (well, it seems to do a brisk business anyway) right behind the base that I pass twice a day. The ruin itself is absolutely fantastic. I keep promising myself that I will stop and take pictures (with and without the girls) one of these days.You can also see them walking along the road signaling for truckers to pick them up. I had one try to flag ME down a few months ago. When it appeared to her that I was not going to stop, she began giving me the universal sign that means I should promptly do not-nice things to myself. Eli said "that lady was trying to say hello to you mom, I think she wanted to get a ride". Uh, not today, not today.
Part four (last one!) coming soon.
Posted by DebC at December 6, 2003 10:22 AM