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February 07, 2004

Make It So Number One, Make It So

As of last Monday, I am no longer working as a labor and delivery nurse. I hereby divest myself of that whole career (is it possible to just stop being a birth junkie?). I have been disenchanted with my role in the hospital birth scene for at least the past five years but was stuck in the weird catch 22 of loving everything about birth so much that I was willing to overlook the misery that hospitals inflict on families (and you would be absolutely CORRECT in thinking that I have a lot, LOT more to say about that, but, lucky you - I will not). I snapped up an administrative job about six weeks ago and Monday was my first day. I am now the Risk Manager for my hospital. My job is to track problems and errors in patient care and get everyone to correct them so that patients are safer and the hospital has less chance of being sued. It seems like a boring job but actually, it is a daily logic problem. And my number one hobby is logic problems.

I had decided several months ago that I was going to retire at the end of this tour (in November 2005), but of course I am still extremely ambivalent about it. While on the L&D unit, the hours made my family life hectic. I felt like I was never around for my children on the days that I worked and on the days I was off, I was beat. I decided that I was done. I can't do this to my children anymore. In the last week of normal nine to five hours (actually 7:30 to 4 pm), my attitude has totally changed. I went to my boss's office to drop the bomb that I was not only going to retire from this command (at 22 years), but that I was going to send a letter to the board withdrawing my name from the competition for advancement. I am due to put on my next rank (O-4) this summer and I have absolutely no reason to think I won't get it. The problem is that if I put it on, I will owe the Navy three more years and that will put my retirement up to 25 years. So, I spent nearly half an hour telling her my well thought out decision and then she pulls out my annual evaluation. I received a mark so high that it put me in the top five percent of my hospital.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It essentially seals the promotion. I don't know what to do. On one hand, it doesn't change a thing. On the other hand, I am at the top of the game, a few more years would only set me up further along in my finances. I have decided that I will reserve my decision until after the promotions are announced. If I can be assured to be stationed in Illinois (in Great Lakes), in a nine to five job, I may decide to take another duty station. Why is this so freaking hard?!!

Posted by DebC at February 7, 2004 10:09 PM

Comments

Posted by: Mom at February 8, 2004 03:06 AM

Posted by: Belva Codding at February 9, 2004 02:44 AM

Posted by: Dad at February 9, 2004 03:01 AM

Posted by: DebC at February 10, 2004 12:06 PM